A dilemma and a request for advice

Dear Friends,

Many of you may have been wondering why the blog I started with such enthusiasm in July this year has petered out so soon. Though I don’t normally like to bother my family and friends with problems in my office, my unhappiness with my professional life sometimes spills into my family and social life, thereby causing great distress me and also to all concerned. It has, in addition, during the past few months sapped all creative urges and strength out of me Having secured a Masters degree in Applied Electronics, with a Gold medal, I expected, when I joined the National Council of Science Museums as a Class I Gazetted Officer in 1991, that I will have a peaceful life, if not a very bright future. The National Science Centre, where I work, is the northern zonal headquarters of the National Council of Science Museums which is an autonomous organization working under the aegis of the Department of Culture, Ministry of Culture, Government of India. The Council runs 27 science centres all over the country, but after more than 15 years of service in this organization, I find that I am still treated with such contempt that I am not really able to sustain a sense of self esteem.

While the job provides for promotions every three or four years, I have had just two promotions in the past 16 years, due to which all those who joined with me have moved ahead to positions of prominence. The reason, as most of you who have known me, is not because I have been incompetent in my job. I have been a student who has excelled in academics during my schooling and college days, and many of you have still testified to this. Many of you may also know that my interests are diverse and I am a versatile individual. I have performed as well as, if not better than many of my colleagues. But the top authority of this organisation – a person whom I wouldnt care to name, the Director General - seems to have developed a dislike to me and has been putting undue pressure on me. I don’t comprehend the reason for this unreasonable antipathy, especially when I have been working overdue. Since this is an autonomous organization, the Director General has a lot of power, which he has been using in a focused way to harass me unnecessarily. This has put me into a lot of mental and emotional strain that it has been affecting my family and social life and my health. Even taking a few days leave has become impossible so that I am not able to attend to my aged parents in Coimbatore or my family here at Delhi. My parents have undergone surgeries which I haven't been able to attend and help. My grandmother who brought me up, and about whom I have written in detail in eariler posts, died without my even being able to see her body. My wife admitted herself into the hospital and delivered Gayatri on her own while I was was refused permission to be beside her and was toiling at the office. Looking back at such incidents I am ashamed that I have neglected my family so much just to please he ego of a sick superior. I have never hesitated to work even for 24 hours a day, and have consistently done so, but all one looks for is recognition and reward.

My job profile itself is very interesting and well suited to my temperament and I have problems only with the people who are running the organization and the kind of working atmosphere here. On the other hand, having spent 16 years in the present job, I would like to complete atleast 20 years after which I can opt for voluntary retirement and be eligible for pension. As a matter of fact, if the conditions in office improve, I would like to continue till retirement, but then only if the conditions improve. I already run two establishments one here and one at Coimbatore, which places me in a delicate financial position.

Since my job profile as the curator of the science centre is so specialized that I will be practically unable to secure a job elsewhere, in the private or public sector, especially after so many years in this profession, I am also apprehensive of leaving at this stage.

As you may have understood from the above, my aim is not to quit immediately, nor to seek employment elsewhere in the private sector, if the situation within the organization improves. I would like to stay protected from unwarranted harassment, and be allowed to do productive work peacefully and with self respect. My family deserves much more of my attention which I am prevented from giving by my present superior officers. So does my health. Is loyalty and dedication to such superiors deserved? Considering your close association with me during the early parts of my life, I would seek your advice on the above issue.